We already have apps that canturn your phone into a lighterand one that playsover 30 types of breaking wind . Thanks to theMost Annoying App Ever , you could voluntarily be devil . That bullshit in reality exists .
So , Jehovah of apps , here ’s an chance for real greatness : Five brilliant idea for apps that can truly make life better and easier . You ’re welcome . Now compute out how to make these real .
Fat or Pregnant?
Never again call for the incorrect womanhood when she ’s due . Get substantiation before you give up your bus seat . plainly take a word picture of a woman ’s belly neighborhood , and this app tells you whether she has a bun in the oven or just forgot to wear her Spanx . It is run using the same mysterious algorithm that Us Weekly practice to decide if a fame is ping up or just a lilliputian bloated .
Hey Man!
At a party , you run into a guy cable who greet you by name . You ’ve met before , but you have no thought who he is . Give him a favorable “ Hey , humankind ! ” Make small talk , slue off , and dismiss up the Hey Man ! app . Snap a subtle photo of him . The computer software uses facial acknowledgement software to troll Facebook and Google Image searches to ID him , then compares those results to your contact list , e-mail history , and other crap like LinkedIn . You see his name , along with fundamental information like how you conform to , what he does , and whether or not you have a account with his girlfriend .
Cash for Chunkers
You could totally fall behind this gut if someone would just pay you to go to the gym every mean solar day . Well , guess what , fatty ? If you purchase this app — for , let ’s say , $ 100 a month — your telephone ’s GPS function monitors your time at the gym . you’re able to earn , say , five bucks for every hour spend at the gym . Do it all month , and you may make your money back . take more incentive ? Pony up more cash . If you do n’t perspire , you do n’t get ante up . Now , pulp !
Instant Factcheck
A blowhard is smatter on about some subject , and you fuck he is just utterly wrong . Time for Instant Factcheck . This app use spokesperson recognition to hear to his bullshit , search out the correct selective information , and pitter-patter back the fact and stats you need to put him in his place . word of advice : This app can provide you with a dead honed tilt , but it does not guarantee you wo n’t get punched in the mouth .
What Was He In?
That blonde guy helping with the train rip-off in Breaking Bad — wasn’t he in Friday Night Lights ? Of of course he was . With this app , you just point the phone at the TV screen , take a few seconds of video , and the computer software recognizes the actor with the accomplishment of a seasoned molding director . Now , alternatively of racking your brain , combing the cast list and crabbed - checking IMBD , you may just peacefully enjoy determine Walt and Jesse slip thousands of Imperial gallon of methylamine .
Brian Moylanis a Senior Writer forHollywood.comwho sometimes nettle other places on the internet with his notion . He has never bothered to exchange the broken Caps Lock key on his MacBook Pro .
Image credit : Shutterstock / Loskutnikov
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