Hannah Brownis getting emotional as she looks back on her time onDancing with the Starsthus far.
On Tuesday, the 25-year-old reality star opened up about her feelings in a lengthy Instagram post following her performance with dance partner Alan Bersten on Monday’s Halloween-themed episode.
While Brown shared she has been “giving this her all,” she admitted that “there is a disconnect” in her routines, whichDWTSjudgeCarrie Ann Inabapointed out Monday.
“You are disconnected from the movements. I need you to give your heart,” Inaba told Brown after her performance.
Brown continued to explain that being “judged on something VERY scary like learning a new skill to perform each week” has brought her new “challenges with [her] past, [her fears] and the uncomfortableness of opening [herself] up.”
“Last night was really defeating for me and a lot of suppressed emotions started to surface from this amazing, but grueling experience.”
“I want to be me. I want to be real,” Brown continued of her goals on the show. “I feel my best when I feel like I have the opportunity to share my heart with others. But I know that’s been lacking in what has been seen onDWTS.”
While she continues to “bust [her] ass” Brown explained that each week she feels as if she “falls flat.”
Hannah Brown/Instagram
She admitted, “I’ve gotten to the point of being so anxious before I perform that I can’t completely enjoy it like I wish and know I could.”
However, theBachelorettestar isn’t giving up.
“I KNOW I have a lot more I can give,” she said in her post. “I want to be able to feel free and confident to dance with my whole heart. I’m working on getting there.I’m not throwing a pity party. I can take criticism and understand hard work … and I also know that my attitude has to change to rise above this slump I’m in.”
“It’s okay to be grateful and positive, while also acknowledging the hard days we all have. It’s so important to think positively, but it’s also important to acknowledge and feel all the feels. This pressure to pretend is not good for anyone. That’s how this crazy cycle of perfectionism continues to exist in a lot of us,” Brown added.
“I will always love you through it all ❤️ so proud of you,” wroteBachelor in Paradise’sDemi Burnett.
“I am so proud you. You know exactly how I feel, you are shining like star! I am so lucky you’re my partner!” Bersten chimed in.
Even herBacheloretterunner-upTyler Cameron, sent words of support.
“Fall down 7 times, get up 8! You got this HB. Be where your feet are and enjoy the ride. You’re doing amazing,” he said.
Dancing with the Starsairs Mondays (8 p.m. ET) on ABC.
source: people.com
