Tess Holliday.Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic
Tess Hollidayknows that she’s in a far better place mentally than she used to be — but she sometimesstruggles to accept how her body has changed.
The model and body image activistshared that the body dysmorphia she often deals with — a mental health disorder in which people obsess with perceived flaws in their appearance — has been more intense lately.
“My body dysmorphia has been really trying me lately and when photos from previous years pop up while I’m scrolling through my phone, it causes me to spiral a bit,” Holliday, 36,wrote on Instagram.
But Holliday tries to remind herself the body she misses in those photos are from a difficult time in her life when she was struggling in hermarriage to ex-husband Nick Hollidayanddealing with anorexia.
“I have to check myself and ask: ‘Why are you really sad?’ because I like how I looked there — but I was also in the throws of my most disordered eating, in an abusive relationship, and so deeply unhappy.”
Holliday said that “now, my body is different but my heart is fuller.”
“I smile a lot more these days, and I know y’all have noticed how much happier I am too 🥺,” she added.
Along with photos fromher favorite workout classand a series of work about self-love from artistElwing Sương Gonzalez, Holliday wrote that she’s working to reframe how she sees herself.
“It takes work to look at old photos of a body I miss (it’s okay to grieve stages of your body) and see instead how unhappy I was back then instead of glamorizing those moments that were far from perfect,” she said. “In the photos I take today, my body doesn’t always look or feel like ME, but the joy? The self love for WHO I am not how I look? That’s real.”
“To everyone that keeps saying ‘you’re looking healthy lately’ or ‘You are losing weight, keep it up!’ Stop,” shewrote on Instagram. “Don’t. Comment. On. My. Weight. Or. Perceived. Health. Keep. It. To. Yourself. Thanks✌🏻”
If you or someone you know is battling an eating disorder, please contact the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) at 1-800-931-2237 or go to NationalEatingDisorders.org.
source: people.com
